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Born this way – Anti- bully

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛2012 CBC-TV的摄影棚

2012年的春天, 魁省150名学生走进CBC-TV的摄影棚,在镜头前讲述了他们被“欺凌”(Bullying)的经历。CBC网站上 25段YOUTUBE上面有25张青春朝气的脸,痛心地讲述25段黑暗无助的经历。据2004年的统计,每七人中有一个受害者, 2012年的数据显示半数以上的加拿大人曾受到“欺凌”。过去几年里的自杀事件, 不论是11岁的Wilson, 还是15岁的JAMIE, 都反映出来“欺凌”的残酷。今年4月,由著名导演Sundance和艾美奖获得者制片人Lee Hirsch力合作推出的电影“BULLY 2012” ,再次撼动亿万家庭的心。



有关BULLY的立法

近十年来,“反欺凌” 的活动逐渐引起学校,政府 和 立法机构的重视:1993年BC省的学校发起WITS (Walk away, Ignore, Talk it out and Seek help)。从此以后, WITS 活动在美加150所学校广泛开展;2004年曼尼托巴政府提出“Soft School Chapter, 主旨是提供一个安全的学校环境;2011年11月,安省在学校里大力推行了“反欺凌”的13号法案 (BILL 13), 创立了一系列的 “反欺凌” 项目(anti-harassment programs); 魁省于2012年推出相应的56号法案。 这次CBC-TV 摄影棚的活动口号就是 ” had the courage to let us in with our cameras.” 工作环境中的 “欺凌” 行为也备受社会的重视,大温地区的维多利亚市还在2011年4月出台了办公环境中反Bullying 的法律,一旦裁决后,“欺凌”的施暴方最多可被判刑10年。



BULLY 的根源,实质和危害

“欺凌”屡禁不止,它的根源是怎样的呢?根据渥太华大学Leading心理学专家TRACY的研究, Bully 有2种:一种是习惯性Bully(habitual bully),“欺凌者”非常冲动难以自控,可能自视较低,(low self-esteem),比如屡屡受到家庭环境的暴力,转而发泄到同学的身上。 另一种Bully发生在一般人身上,“欺凌者”基于某种心理优势比如美貌,体育或优势位置, 有较高的Self-esteem,一旦感觉自己的优势位置受到威胁,立刻就开始报复行为。女性之间,容貌和异性朋友会是常见诱发因素,好斗 (AGGRESSIVE)的一方会象公鸡一般,用尽全力去打击“威胁”自己的人; 私欲和没有安全感是另一重要原因。这部分人通常利用较优势的社会地位,耍弄社交手腕来掩饰自己的真实目的,赢取公众的支持。两种Bully的共性即根源是一 样的:采用暴力( 心理或者体力)来打击对方,控制环境,赢取权力,获得自信。


多数“欺凌”是通过软暴力残害对方的身心,其恶果不亚于犯罪,可是因为比较隐性,难以收集证据,短期难以制裁“欺凌者”。 随时间的拖延,旁观者越来越冷漠甚至站在“欺凌者” 的一边,道理很简单,心理学专家解释:“欺凌者”的行为是要打败对方,以树立自己的威信,受害人的挫败会成为对 “欺凌者” 的一种奖赏 (rewards)。 旁观者(bystander)一方面害怕自己成为受害人,另一方面也想站在一个轻松的位置上,导致受害人的敌人会越来越多,无力反击。一种 “欺凌” 行为, 得不到应有的惩罚,反而不停地得到 “鼓励” 和 “奖赏”,就会越演越烈。最终导致受害人的伤害越来越深,无法自愈,甚至终身残疾。


“欺凌” 通常会使受害人降低自信和自我认可(lower self-esteem),丧失个人进取发展的能力和机会。“欺凌” 甚至会造成一种长期隐形的障碍左右受害人的心理,长期生活在阴影下。值得庆幸的是,多数受害人经过顽强的意志,不断地努力和获取帮助后,最终能走出阴影,赢得新生活,而且拥有一颗更加强壮健康的心!


Anti- Bully 正在进行时

去年底,Lada Gaga和母亲建立了一个 “BORN THIS WAY” 的非盈利组织, 号召“反欺凌”行动,鼓励青少年一起努力,建立一个更勇敢,更善良的世界! 2012年2月29日,Lada Gaga 还和 Oprah 一起在哈佛大学宣传,此行得到波士顿市长的大力支持, 30所公立学校随后开展系列“反欺凌”的活动。CBC 在2012年 5-28 到6-1 举办为期一周的“反欺凌”节目 “Connect with Mark Kelley”,广受瞩目。 最近安省的各个社区中心大力开展了“反欺凌”的系列活动,Halton 市专门建立了一支由ErinoakKids, YMCA, 区警察局和区天主教学校等多家机构组成的强有力量的队伍,推动“反欺凌”的活动。


"反欺凌”这个艰巨复杂的社会任务不会一蹴而就地完成,正如“欺凌”带给受害者的影响是一种隐形长期的阻碍,“反欺凌”的活动也将是一种持续,长期和有力的反击。让我们每人都伸出援手,尽一份力,让我们的社会更加光明和自由。更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • 枫下茶话 / 社会 / Born this way – Anti- bully
    • What if it were organized bullying? See the following example.
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Example of the illegally conducted training at the expense of the subdinators.
      I currently deal with several unions. Unfortunately, many of them seem to practice bullying on purpose. Not only is it tolerated, it's encouraged. Then if we try to do something about it, the union fights and we lose (doesn't matter how much we have documented...it comes back to the way union grievances work and their acceptance of it not as bullying, but their "right" and even necessary to the survival of the union). I feel so badly for the employees at the receiving end (I was once the victim of a bullying boss, so I know how horrible it can make life...and we have had a guy who had to quit because of stress-induced physical illness and heart problems because of it)! Now, not all of my locations have this problem, but the ones who don't are small. It seems to be the larger workforces with the local and immediate union rep within easy access. Again, I know this isn't all unions or all places, but I'm appalled at how much I hear about this. Unfortunately, I'm a peon without any real HR control so even if I could figure out what to do about it, I don't have the authority.
      At the same time, I can't put my full name here, or comment in the local paper or social site with any observations that might be seen in any way as negative toward unions or our union will make sure I'm fired. Yet, they can tout their wonder to anyone anywhere, and if that doesn't work, shove it down the guy's throat, deface his locker, or put trash on his car. That's fine. Humpf.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • I am lucky because I have never worked in that type of company. But if that is the whole picture of working place in Canada, our flag shouldn't be red and white. (joking) Also, how about those anti-bully laws (such as Bill 13) and corporate policies?
        • Resources : Anti - Bullying at work / Bill 13 / Bill 14
          Anti-Bullying at work
          http://www.worksafe.vic.gov.au/safety-and-prevention/health-and-safety-topics/bullying-at-work

          Bill 13
          http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2012/06/05/ontario-anti-bullying-bill-final-vote-controversy-over-gay-straight-alliance.html

          Bill 14
          http://www.ontla.on.ca/web/bills/bills_detail.do?locale=en&Intranet=&BillID=2550

          First day of new anti-bullying law
          http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/story/2012/09/04/wdt-new-anti-bully-law.html
          (Sep. 4, 2012)

          Anti-Bully Awareness Week
          http://www.sackvilletribunepost.com/Provincial/2012-09-17/article-3075496/AntiBullying-Awareness-Week/1
          (Sep. 17 ,2002)
    • thank you very much for your info, it is very important to educate all the Chinese Canadian here, to realize this issue. Too bad, so many of us, never think about it this way.
      • You are very welcome.Yes I agree with you the awareness is important: bullying is not a Game,
        it can be a crime. And the bully can be put into the jail. Anti-bully is a long term fight for all of us.